John Beachbuggy Robert Blezard

love ya heaps dad

miss ya heaps, love ya always ,

love all, keep safe, your always with me

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Stewart Richard Blezard (Son) February 28, 2008

Hi dad.
Today was gus's funeral,and sadly i couldn't be there,to say goodbye,but i'm asking you to watch out for him,and keep him safe,and let him know he was special,and loved i've writing him a poem on his site,funny really when we were together, he used to write poems for me all the time.And the first time i write him a poem is when he's passed away,just doesn't balance,so do that for me.
All my love

Tina xx

Tina Holliman-Frewin (Daughter) January 31, 2008

Hi dad

On Saturday morning (19-01-08) Gus died dad,please watch out for him,he needs someone he knows to look after him,as a favour to me,please keep him safe.and tell him how much he was loved and how much we'll miss him.
All my love

Tina xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Tina Holliman-Frewin (Daughter) January 21, 2008

happy birthday

another year has passed and still we miss you, wish we could all have spent your birthday with you. always thinking of you.

loads of love

dellaXXXXXXXXXXXXXXx

Della-Marie Battensby (Daughter) January 6, 2008

Another birthday without you

Today is your birthday,and your not here to share it.So here happy birthday to you.Thinking of you and i'll raise a glass later for you.

All My Love

Tina xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Tina Holliman-Frewin (Daughter) January 5, 2008

unanswered questions

Dear Dad,
We've all been using your site,to get things off our chests,and i wish i could ask you face to face,what i have spinning around in my head.

My mum even when you were alive, never said a bad word you in anyway at all.But when i was 3 yrs old,you walked out on me and mum,and i was never told why.
They say your first born is the cherished one,not in my case.
I never saw you again till i was 16yrs old,and i was the one that came looking,by then you'd had 5 more children,2 girls.
Elaine and katrina,3 boys James,Stewart and John who was 3 weeeks old.
Before i moved down here to london,i had you in my life for 5 years.And not once did you tell me you loved me,i never got a cuddle or any show of affection,did you ever care about me.
Cause if you did you never showed it,the nearest i got was when i worked in Skegness,and got home sick and rang mum begging her to come and get me.She told you and you drove down straight away,arriving at midnight,they wouldn't let me come home that night,i had paperwork to sort out,so me you and mum slept in your car,it was fun we played silly mind games,and in the morning you,me and mum went paddling it was about 6am,that the only day in my life i had my mum and dad to myself,paddling in the sea and collecting shells,it was well worth getting home sick.
Della-Marie and John was the closest i got too,John was independant,so when you'd say coming to mine for the weekend,he'd have packed his own bag given the chance,he used to run round my mum's house as if he lived there.And i loved having him there,James never stayed over he always wanted to stay with Jane is mum,always was a mummies boy when he was younger bless him,Stewart stayed a couple of times,but it was mainly always john john as i used to call him.
Della-Marie well what can i say,i loved her to piece when she was born and Jane got post-natal depression,and mum agreed for her to stay with us,it was heaven changing her,feeding and everything you do for a baby i loved every minute of it,and i cried when Jane got better,i wanted to keep her,i missed her so much when you took her home,i'd looked after her for 3 weeks,it seemed like a life time then.My mum gave me a fantastic life,but i would have loved my daddy to be there occasionally,even if was to nag me for to much make-up or you didn't like my short skirt or i don't like that boy your seeing.But i never got that,every day i tell my son Rhys-Morgan i love him,and i cuddle him constantly so when he gets older,he won't have to wonder what it feels like to be loved and to have a parent show you affection like my mum showed me.Well got to go now.
Love Tina x

Tina Holliman-Frewin (Daughter) December 19, 2007

missing you so much dad

another year has passed when you have not been able to be here with us. we have all missed you. we have all started to get to know each other again its taken a long time but here we are. although unfortunately i cant say that all these things happened with us i think this is a nice poem



As soft winds sweep away the days
I look back on life through a haze.
Remember playgrounds, parks and friends,
In childlike gaze that never ends.
The laughter in a game of catch,
Shall memory ever attach...
To innocence in youthful eyes,
Catching the ball to Dad's surprise.

I recall my first bike, first wreck,
Who picked me up, said, 'What the heck?'
Convinced me to give one more try,
While, knees skinned, I forgot to cry.
Just the joy knowing he was there,
Making him proud my only care.
There was nothing I couldn't do,
My heart held fast that to be true.

Though teenage years were kind of rough,
I sure wasn't too big or tough.
You taught me to defend what's right
And never back down from a fight.
So I learned the hard way to stand,
Still, with each lump, I found your hand.
Drawing from you an inner strength,
And stubborn pride of equal length.

But there the line of fate was drawn,
As though I blinked and you were gone.
I found myself facing the sun,
Not man, not boy, fatherless, one.
Eyes blinded by a void inside,
I could not live that you had died.
Alas finding it to be true,
I could do nothing without you.

Please, Dad, today just hear my call,
I'm sorry that I dropped the ball.
My life is wrecked, my knees are skinned,
My emotions undisciplined.
I can't get up although I try,
Please don't be upset if I cry.
Though I can't fight what I can't see,
Please, Dad, say you're still proud of me.

we will always love you dad

Della-Marie Battensby (Daughter) October 23, 2007

NEVER FORGOTTEN

16 YEARS CAN SEEM SUCH A LONG TIME.....
.....BUT IT DOESN'T FEEL IT.
IT'S JAMES' BIRTHDAY TODAY, ALSO YOUR DEPARTING TIME,
PLEASE KEEP WATCHING OVER US ALL, WE ALL MISS YOU LIKE MAD, BEEN ABLE TO EXPRESS OURSELVES THIS WAY WITH YOU, I KNOW HELPS US ALL.
I KNOW TINA MISSES YOU, I'M SO SORRY THAT THINGS HAPPENED AND TURNED OUT AS THEY DID FOR THE BOTH OF YOU, I FEEL FOR HER, I RESPECT HER FEELINGS OF HAVING TIME STOLEN, I MISSED HER SO MUCH AS WE WERE GROWING UP, I WONDERED IF WE WOULD EVER HAVE CONTACT AGAIN, AND IF SHE KNEW YOU HAD GONE, I WAS SO YOUNG, I HAD NO IDEA HOW TO GO ABOUT TRACING PEOPLE, I HOPE TINA DOESN'T FEEL LET DOWN BECAUSE OF THIS.
I HAVEN'T SPOKEN TO JAMES FOR A WHILE, HE SEEMED TO BE GETTING ON OK THE LAST TIME WE SPOKE, I DON'T KNOW MUCH ABOUT WHAT HE DOES WITH HIMSELF THOUGH.
I HAVEN'T SPOKE TO JOHN FOR A LONG TIME, WHEN I LAST SAW HIM A LOT I WAS GETTING INTO A LOT OF TROUBLE, HE SEEMED TO BE QUITE THE OPPOSITE IN A LOT OF WAYS, AND, WELL, I'VE GROWN UP A LOT NOW, I'M NO LONGER OUT TO PROVE A POINT, WHATEVER THAT POINT WAS. LIFES TOO SHORT. I HOPE HE IS LIVING HAPPILY.
DELLA AND I HAVE CONTACT QUITE A BIT, MOSTLY THROUGH EMAILS, SHE SEEMS SUCH A STRONG WILLED WOMAN NOW, HOPEFULLY I HAVE HELPED HER, AND ALL, IN STRENGTH.
I HAVEN'T SPOKEN TO JEFF FOR A MONTH OR SO, I GUESS THIS IS WHAT I WILL HAVE TO DO VERY SOON, HE SEEMS HAPPY WITH THE WAY HE IS GOING, WE HAVE THE PAST YEARS HAD MORE OF A JOKEY CHATTER BETWEEN US, HE BUZZ'S OF MY ACCENT, CRAZY MAN.
I RECIEVED AN EMAIL OFF BERNIE A FEW WEEKS AGO, I MAILED BACK BUT AS YET I HAVE HAD NO REPLY, MAYBE SHE HAS A LOT GOING ON, I WISH WE COULD TALK PROPERLY.
I DON'T KNOW MUCH ABOUT ELAINE AND KATRINA, I HAVEN'T SEEN THEM FOR QUITE A NUMBER OF YEARS, I HOPE THEY ARE HAVING A GOOD LIFE AND ALL IS WELL FOR THEM.

Stewart R Blezard (Son) October 23, 2007

how strange

hi dad,
well how stranger can things get,when i last saw my siblings,james was 7/8,stew 6/7.john 5/6 della-marie 4/5.they couldn't hold a proper conversation together,now i find myself taliking to them about their partner,their children and life in general,it does seem weird,i know when you and my mum divorced i didn't see you for 14yrs,and to be honest i didn't miss you,as i never remembered you,and my mum looked after me well and still does bless her,but when i talk to the other's and they talk about all the things you did with them, i feel like shouting,why was i the one that grew up with out a dad,where were you when i had a gymnastic competions or hockey tournment,when i needed picking up when i'd fallen over.i know it sounds selfish,but i feel that way sometimes,and della understands what i mean when we talk.strange i remember when she was born and jayne got post-natal depression,and my mum let della stay with us for a while,people thought my mother was mad,looking after her ex-husbands child,but that's what my mum was like,and still is. talk soon.


love Tina

Tina Holliman-Frewin (Daughter) October 17, 2007

YOU ARE MY SHEPHERD DAD. LOVE YOU HEAPS.

I'VE PRAYED TO YOU MANY TIMES DAD, I HOPE YOU HAVE HEARD ME. MY HEAD HAS BEEN GOING CRAZY FOR YEARS AS TO WHY YOU WERE TAKEN FROM US, THE EVENING BEFORE YOU LEFT, WHILE YOU WERE SPEAKING TO ME AS YOU LAYED ON THE SOFA, I KNEW YOU WASN'T GOING TO COME BACK HOME, WE HAD NEVER SPENT TIME TOGETHER LIKE THAT TIME BEFORE, YOU HAD NEVER SPOKEN TO ME LIKE THAT BEFORE, I KNOW I WASN'T ALWAYS THE EASIEST CHILD, {MY TEEN YEARS HAVE BEEN A LOT WORSE-I'M SORRY-I GUESS WE ALL MAKE WRONG CHOICES IN LIFE, I GUESS I'VE JUST MADE MORE THAN MOST}, I HOPE YOU SHINE DOWN ON ALL THE FAMILY, I HAVE MOVED AWAY FROM MY TROUBLESOME PAST NOW, BUT I HAVE LEFT MOST OF THE FAMILY BEHIND, I HOPE THAT THEY CAN SEE IT IS FOR THE BETTER, THE LIFE I WAS IN I WOULD OF BEEN JOINING YOU SOONER THAN I SHOULD BE, I KNOW THAT YOU WOULD NOT OF WANTED THIS, THERE HAS BEEN MANY MANY TIMES THAT I WISH I COULD OF JOINED YOU, BUT HONESTLY, I HAVEN'T MUCH FAITH IN AFTERLIFE. I HAVE TWO BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN, I CAN SEE YOU IN BOTH OF THEM. I GOT A PHONE CALL OFF BERNADETTE THE OTHER WEEK BUT FOR SOME REASON THE PHONE WENT DEAD, I HOPE SHE CONTACTS ME SOON, DELLA SENT ME SOME PICTURES OF YOU THE OTHER DAY WHICH I THANK HER DEARLY FOR AND I TRY TO KEEP IN CONTACT AS MUCH AS I CAN, I HAVE RECENTLY BEEN IN CONTACT WITH TINA, I COULDN'T BELIEVE I WOULD EVER AGAIN, I HOPE HER PAIN CAN BE EASED BECAUSE OF THE TIME MISSED. I SPOKE TO JAMES A FEW WEEK AGO, HE SEEMS TO BE DOING WELL FOR HIMSELF, AND JEFF TOO, HE SOUNDED LIKE HIS LIFE IS OK, I HEAR JOHN IS DOING OK BUT WE DON'T HAVE ANY CONTACT. I REALLY DON'T KNOW HOW TO EXPLAIN HOW MUCH I MISS YOU DAD, I'M NOT VERY GOOD AT WORDING THNGS AND WHEN I DO I FEEL I'M JUST RAMBLING ON, I MISS YOU HEAPS DAD, MORE THAN I COULD SAY HERE, I'VE TRIED TO BE AS STRONG AS POSSIBLE, ALWAYS IN MY LIFE. I LOVE YOU........PLEASE WATCH OVER THE FAMILY THE BEST YOU CAN.

Stewart Richard Blezard (Son) September 30, 2007